Hello, Cambodia..

Yeay, so this year i haven't been to anywhere. After several times postponing my trip to Cambodia, finally i took several days off to go there in last May 2015. Well, the more i'm travelling, i just realize i'm the typical who needs to take a break for myself, like twice or several times in a year maybe. Times where i could wandering alone without thinking anything about jobs, money, or listening some people who just love to criticize and much complaining ^^ i should make it routine, really. 

Since i arrived at Phnom Penh in late evening, and the city is in public holiday straight to the weekend, lots of public places were closed down. The traffic was good because it's holiday, most people in the city went back to their hometown at the small provinces. This time i learned a lot, when you go into a city, and it's public holiday, make sure you do some research before. Just in case, some places are closed.

I asked to the receptionist if there is local good food restaurant, and she told me about Romdeng. It's a restaurant where all the staff (waiters, chefs, cashiers, etc) were former street children. It's part of the Friends-International programs for marginalized children and youth. Whoa, i was surprised to find about the program where they train all the street children so the children will be able to support themselves and family, and not just roaming on the road and begging for money to the tourists. 

The location itself was quite tricky, you won't find it unless you ask people around. Located in a small alley and it's among common houses with a small signage "ROMDENG". When i came inside, i was like "WHOA". The interior did surprise me 

Interior of Romdeng. cr. streetfriends.org.

 

The pool. cr. tripadvisor.de

Someone who designed this restaurant made sure that all stuff here was vintage and gave some homey feeling. I didn't get the time to take photos. I was too surprised and spent some time to look around :) As for the taste itself, i tried their favorite, Lotus Root and Chicken Salad with Galangal Dressing. That's long ^^ It didn't taste well on my tongue because i prefer tasty and savory rather than sweet and sour, but i think it's still tasted good for some other tongues :) For the drink, i chose Mango Shake. The thing i really love from Cambodia is their shakes drink. Those all are damn superb delicious!! :) 

I tried to look some local attractions around but nothing except the pubs. Well, I'm not into pubs so i just went back to hostel and put my body on rest :)

I stayed in Phnom Penh only for one day, so for the day after, i just decided just to go into certain "touristy" places :) In one day, i actually managed to go The Killing Fields, Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, Royal Palace, Central Market, and National Museum of Cambodia. Pheww, quite a day. But still, i loved it too much when i could spend all the times only for myself :)

Will update you on the next post :)

When you have an illness patient in your family..

Yesterday was the first day my mother started her radiation in Singapore. She was diagnosed anus cancer since 2012. We've been going back and forth between Guangzhou, Jakarta, and Singapore for 2,5 years. Two weeks ago, my mother got colostomy done around her stomach, and she's still adjusting. The doctor didn't remove her cancer since the risks were much way bigger and not worth it.

 

My mother is a very clean person and it's difficult for her to accept that she no longer able to pass the stool from behind. Well, i cannot blame her. Who would not lose their appetite when you see your feces everyday and bring the pouch attached to the stomach everywhere? 

Actually my mother's case was not a difficult one to handle at first. Surgery was the first option suggested by most doctors we visited, since it's still in early stage. But my mother listened too many people, became afraid and said she wouldn't feel complete as a human being. 

My friend who's working as a nurse, once told me that eventually my mother would still get the surgery done. It's only about how long the time she took. If the surgery done 2,5 years ago, the purpose was recovery and a lot of preventative measures could be done. But now, she had to get the surgery, otherwise the stool wouldn't come out and it will lead to another infection. The latter purpose was not for recovery, but to avoid further complications and reduce the pain.

Based on the last CT and MRI, the cancer around her vagina and anus is getting bigger. It's slowly closing her anus and vagina. I don't remember how much money and treatments we spent. Because my mother didn't want surgery, so at the first 2,5 years we spent more into chemotherapy, cryosurgery, photo dynamic therapy, radio ablation, etc. Another treatment going into another treatment and more money wasted. 

Yesterday's radiation was the first day. Today is the second day. The doctor is planning 14 times radiation for 14 days. If not enough, then maybe it will extend to 16 times. I often think if my mother did surgery since the beginning, will things better now? No money wasted so much, the cancer wouldn't get any bigger, well maybe not as bad as her current condition.

My mother always listens too much to many people and always hesitates with her own family because she thought we couldn't taking care of her properly. I'm lying if I said I'm not pissed off.  

 

It's just me, my father and my sister are families around her. And now, everyone is tired...

"Have a safe trip"

"Have a safe flight"

Lately, kalimat ini sedang sering diucapkan banyak orang. Saya sendiri lebih suka menyebut "have a safe trip" daripada "have a safe flight". Musibah kan bisa terjadi dimana saja, bukan hanya di atas langit sana ^^

2014 was bad for aviation. Belakangan saya mencoba mengingat sejak kapan saya mulai mengikuti berita tentang kecelakaan pesawat. Mungkin sejak kasus Air France. Dulu tiap kali dengar berita kecelakaan pesawat, rasanya seperti mendengar berita dari belahan dunia yang jauh, yang rasanya hanya terjadi di negara yang letaknya nun jauh di sana, penerbangan dengan rute jarak jauh belasan atau puluhan jam.

Setelah Air France, lalu saya ingat kecelakaan Sukhoi di tahun 2012 juga menyedot perhatian media di Indonesia waktu itu. Lalu yang masih cukup segar di ingatan, hilangnya pesawat Malaysian Airlines MH370 yang terjadi di awal tahun 2014 dengan rute Kuala Lumpur - Beijing. Saya sendiri waktu itu kaget baca beritanya. Rute KL-Beijing terasa sangat umum, negaranya juga bukan negara yang jauh-jauh amat. Masih negara tetangga lah dengan Indonesia. Pelan-pelan, rasanya berita kecelakaan pesawat menjadi hal yang terasa dekat buat saya. Like it could happen to anyone and anywhere.

Di saat orang-orang baru hendak "lupa" terhadap MH370, dunia kembali dikejutkan dengan jatuhnya pesawat MH17 karena ditembak rudal. Waktu baca beritanya, saya bengong. Heran kok ya pesawat bisa sengaja ditembak. Kecelakaan yang sifatnya accidental dan disaster saja rasanya sudah bikin hati sedih. Ini pesawatnya sengaja ditembak. What the...?? Ya katanya sih karena salah sasaran pesawat dan berbagai teori konspirasi lainnya. 

Lalu yang paling baru, AirAsiaQZ8501. Ini lebih bikin syok lagi. Rutenya Surabaya - Singapura, negara favorit orang Indonesia. Beberapa hari sambil mengikuti perkembangan di TV dan social media, saya merenung sendiri. Baru sadar bahwa kematian itu memang tidak ada yang tahu kapan datangnya. Membuat saya jadi berpikir dan memperhatikan orang-orang di sekitar saya. Hari ini saya sibuk mengerjakan ini dan itu, apa besok saya masih bisa melakukan hal yang sama? Bahkan saya jadi berpikir untuk mulai merapikan file-file data proyek yang sedang dikerjakan, in case something happened to me, setidaknya orang yang akan melanjutkan pekerjaan saya nggak bingung-bingung amat. *let's pray that's not gonna happen to me... too fast :)*

Saya mencoba membayangkan untuk menjalani hidup as if today was your last day on earth. Kira-kira apa yang akan dilakukan? Sambil ketik tulisan ini, saya teringat bukunya Mitch Albom yang judulnya "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". Well, maafkan judulnya yang terdengar seperti buku para motivator sukses yang beredar di pasaran ^^ Saya nggak akan lupa buku tipis ini sukses bikin saya menangis sesenggukan waktu pertama kali baca. Menceritakan tentang seorang mekanik biasa yang menghabiskan hari tuanya sebagai maintenance crew di taman hiburan. Di awal buku, langsung diceritakan kalau mekanik ini akan meninggal di taman hiburan tempat dia bekerja. Detik-detik menjelang dia meninggal, mekanik ini bertemu dengan 5 roh dari orang-orang yang pernah menjadi bagian penting dalam hidupnya, namun terlupakan begitu saja.. and everything was not always what it seemed :)

Saya jadi berpikir kalau hari ini adalah hari terakhir saya hidup, saya mau ngapain yah dengan orang-orang di sekitar saya? Nope, saya juga belum tahu saya mau ngapain jadi jangan tunggu jawaban saya ^^ Well, I'm not the typical one who love to shower with sugary words and roses. I do what i have to do. But still.. if I have to die, i don't want to die with any regrets :) 

Mengutip dari meme yang lagi ramai dipost di social media,

"Have a safe flight", "I love you", "Take care"

It may sounds not so important, not necessarily to say..

But you'll never know it could be your last good bye..

I guess that's probably true. You'll never know what's your last words for your loved ones.

My heart goes out for #AirAsiaQZ8501

May the souls rest in peace